Because sometimes, the men holding the microphones go just as potty as the rest of us. Here are some of our favourites...
14. Herbert Zimmermann: "Tor! Tor! Tor! Tor!"
Football commentary in 1954 wasn't quite so emotional – but it's tough not to get excited when you've just witnessed something special.
The 1954 World Cup Final is now better known as the Miracle of Bern, after Germany came being two goals down with eight minutes played to beating Hungary's Mighty Magyars in stunning fashion.
Herbert Zimmermann’s radio commentary of Helmut Rahn’s 84th-minute winner is considered important enough to have changed the atmosphere in West Germany. "Call me crazy, call me mad! I believe also football laymen should have a heart."
Just try arguing with that.
13. Andy Gray: "Ohhhhhh, ya beautehhhh"
Many goals came from the ferocious right boot of Kop legend Steven Gerrard – and this thunderbolt in the 2004/05 Champions League group stage against Olympiakos is among the best.
Naturally, it was met with equally boisterous commentary from ertswhile Sky Sports mic-handler Andy Gray, who interrupted Martin Tyler's blow-by-blow account to declare to the nation what they already knew: what a hit son.
Gerrard’s strike secured qualification to the knockout stages of a tournament Liverpool would later go on to win in even more dramatic fashion.
12. Johnny Phillips loses his marbles (and voice)
It doesn't get much more dramatic than this. Phillips was reporting for Sky on a tense Championship play-off semi-final second leg between Watford and Leicester, and tried to maintain composure as the two teams traded late blows.
Leicester had a penalty saved that would have taken them to the final, before Watford charged down the other end of the pitch and scored through Troy Deeney. Poor Phillips had the unenviable task of explaining it all in real time.
11. Gary Neville: *peculiar squeal*
G-Nev is back on our tellies after briefly trying his hand at management with Valencia in 2015/16. The ex-Manchester United right-back remains at the vanguard of analysis and pundtiry in the UK – but he won't ever be able to escape this bizarre outpouring as Chelsea secured safe passage to the 2012 Champions League Final at Barcelona’s expense.
The squeaky Mancunian couldn't contain himself as the Blues built up to strike their late killer blow at the Camp Nou, climaxing uncomfortably when Fernando Torres tapped home after rounding Barcelona goalkeeper Victor Valdes in the dying seconds.
This was Neville's first season working for Sky Sports – and suffice to say, he's progressed well since this infamous goalgasm.
10. Gary Neville: *peculiar squeal*, part two
OK, he progressed well eventually. Neville’s impassioned cries returned in the 2012 Champions League Final, when Didier Drogba headed home an emphatic equaliser in the final moments to take the game to extra time. Not quite Torres-level stuff, but still strong on the squeak-o-scale.